Aziza Kibibi endured a hellish existence growing up when her father
started raping her when she was about 8-years-old
started raping her when she was about 8-years-old
Aziza Kibibi was only eight-years-old when her father
started raping her. By 10, Aswad Ayinde's lessons teaching his daughter 'how to
be a woman' turned violent and his regular raping produced five children out of
incest.
Those days are now long behind Kibibi, who saw her abusive
father sentenced to 50 years in prison on July 26. Aziza Kibibi endured a
hellish existence growing up when her father started raping her when she was
about 8-years-old. Now 35, married and running a promising baking business,
Kibibi recently reflected on her 'nightmare' childhood on NJ.com.
Kibibi's childhood started off relatively normal. She lived
with her mother and father on the third-floor of an apartment in Paterson, New
Jersey, with her Jamaican immigrant grandparents living below.
Kibibi was home-schooled but still allowed to play with the
neighborhood children. when her family grew to include eight children they
moved into a bigger apartment in the same building.
It was when Kibibi started to mature that her father started
giving her unwanted attention.
'He told me I was special. Initially, it was to teach me to
be a woman,' she said. 'By the time he started having intercourse with me, he
was getting more and more violent. When I would start fighting him, he would
hit me. It was more about threats.'
Her father began to change, and became more controlling over
the family. He moved them out of their grandparent's apartment to another house
in Paterson before relocating to Eatontown in Southern New Jersey. The children
were only allowed to watch a small amount of TV, and nothing that depicted
traditional family life.Aswad Ayinde Modern medicine was outlawed in the house, and he actually
told his wife that his relations with Kibibi were to treat her eczema.
Kibibi wasn't the only one Ayinde was having sex with. He
had a mistress and was also abusing one of Kibibi's sisters.
He called himself a polygamist and a prophet. His family was
allowed to pray to god but could only do so through him.
When Kibibi's first child was born without defects, Ayinde
took it as proof that he needed to keep his bloodline 'pure' and continued to rape
the girl to get her pregnant.
But the following children would not be so lucky. Two
further daughters born from her father would be diagnosed with phenylketonuria
(PKU) a disease that prevents the body from breaking down amino acids. PKU can
cause brain damage and seizures.
Dr. Anna Haroutunian, a PKU specialist who has treated
Kibibi's children, said they definitely got the disease because of inbreeding.
PKU is a recessive gene, so both parents must have the gene in order for it to
pass along to the child. The gene only appears at a rate of 1 in 4,000 world
wide and is must lower for African-Americans. Likely Kibibi's paternal
grandfather had the gene.
Over the years, Kibibi became obsessed with escaping. She
would sleep just because her dreams were better than real life.
"I'd dream about running away. I'd dream about getting
all my brothers and sisters — one of my sisters was a baby, and I was taking care
of her — I'd dream about growing breasts and getting milk and running away with
them somewhere," she said.
When she was older and one of her sons fell sick, she
finally got the courage to take him to the hospital since Ayinde was out of
town on a business trip.
But she didn't know how to interact with the doctors and a
social worker stepped in, alerting the Department of Youth a Family Services.
When Ayinde returned from his business trip he was enraged,
and threatened to forcibly remove his son from the hospital.
Child services stepped in before he could do that and placed
them in separate homes.
After that Kibibi, her mother and her sisters moved away
from Ayinde as she attempted to get her children back.
Her performance in state-mandated courses and counseling
impressed the government officials and eventually her children were returned to
her.
'She has been an exceptional mother,' Haroutunian said. 'She
was so attentive and patient, it's remarkable. For a young girl - with all
she's had - she has been just wonderful.'
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