A 35-year-old woman has told how she has never felt sexually
attracted to men or women.
Julie Sondra Decker from Tampa, Florida, revealed to
MailOnline that she started describing herself as ‘nonsexual’ at the age of 15
and when she became aware of the term ‘asexual’, she changed it.
The outgoing blonde says that she’s had more offers of sex
than she ‘wants to count’ over the years but, ‘without the feelings that
usually go with that sort of thing, it’s kind of gross.’
Happy being single: Julie Sondra Decker, from Tampa,
Florida, revealed to MailOnline that she started describing herself as
‘asexual’ at the age of 15 and has never been attracted to men or women.
The writer, who lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment,
states that she is not interested in dating or pursuing a domestic partner.
‘I have very close friendships but don’t want a significant
other. I don’t want to find another asexual to be roommates with.
‘As far as I can tell I’ll be happy being single my whole
life.’
In a YouTube video, Miss Decker says that as a young
teenager she kissed and cuddled both boys and girls.
But she concluded: ‘I never found anything that floated my
boat.’
She says that her family were convinced that she was a
‘closet lesbian’.
Before she went to college her mother even took her to the
doctors because she wasn’t expressing ‘normal’ interest in the opposite sex.
Given the all-clear she carried on with her studies,
graduating from the University of Florida in 2000 with a degree in elementary
education and psychology.
She said despite there being more awareness about asexuality
today, it still remains largely misunderstood.
She’s had male friends try and ‘fix’ her by kissing her
against her will and many insist that she will ‘wake up one day’.
Since opening up about being asexual on the internet, via
YouTube and her blog, Miss Decker says that she’s received death threats and
been told by several commentators that she just needs a ‘good raping.’
‘When people hear that you’re asexual, some take that as a
challenge,’ she told the Huffington Post.
‘We are perceived as not being fully human because sexual
attraction and sexual relationships are seen as something alive, healthy people
do.
‘They think that you really want sex but just don’t know it
yet. For people who perform corrective rape, they believe that they’re just
waking us up and that we’ll thank them for it later.’
Miss Decker says that asexuality presents itself in many
forms. Some people, while lacking sexual attraction to any gender, may engage
in purely romantic relationships.
However, she defines herself as ‘aromantic’, meaning she
does not have any romantic feelings either.
Professor Bogaert, an associate professor at Brock
University in Ontario, Canada, suggests in his book Understanding Asexuality,
that around one per cent of the world’s population – 70million people – are
‘asexual.
He believes that this demographic are ‘under-studied’ and
that they can feel excluded from our ‘very sexualised culture’.
Experts say a certain number of asexuals may have always
existed but are only now starting to ‘come out’ as society becomes more
liberal.
To her ‘haters’, Miss Decker concludes: ‘I’m not damaged,
lonely or in need of a conversion because I’m not interested [in sex].’
She hopes to raise awareness about asexuality through her
writing and public speaking.
‘[I want] people who
feel similarly to know they’re not alone.’
Source: Daily Mail
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