There are several things that makes a man make up his mind
that it is you or otherwise. Dont get it twisted... If he finds out that
someone has 15 CORE things that you have only 3 of and even the 3 are sometimes
cancelled out by the bad things like nagging, pride, greed...that have formed
your character. Your own don set.
You are sitting there comparing yourself to someone who has
13 things, more than you and is willing to tolerate his weaknesses and learn
more. Yet you are quick to say, you don't know what he sees in "that
girl". Hey girlfriend, your beauty stands nowhere near the towering
personality and good heart "that girl" has. Better recognize.
Sometime back, in March, I was advising a babe on how to
make a man stay. Some comments posted in reply to my status were that men are
only controlled by their third legs, money, yansh, boobs, beauty and ego. I
tried to highlight a very serious point that babes were missing.
And that is: EVERY MAN WANTS BETTER. WE DO NOT WANT TO FEEL THE ONE WE LET GO WAS
BETTER.
Not too long ago, I read some wild and wide criticism that
greeted what Stella Damasus wrote about keeping a man. To some, wrong as they
were, Stella had no business telling anyone how to keep a man. I believe she
does. I actually think she knows more than she revealed.
Growing up in Ojo Cantonment, my Dad and I were walking back
from his friend from a Soldier in the Education Corp of the Nigerian Army, from
Gongola state who had been made a Major. Just as we took a turn, from the
officers' mess, a naked mad man was running towards us from the opposite
direction, shouting Mad Man... Mad man... To my surprise, My Dad, who was a
military man, told us to run for cover. So he dragged me behind a kerosine
tank, pushed me to the ground and kept looking to see what the mad man was
running from. Meanwhile, Some two Fulani men who used to come into the barracks
regularly to read palms of anyone who yielded their hands to them, had been
walking behind us, before we took cover. They kept walking.
I nearly laughed when I saw them make a Uturn, and took off
after the mad man that had run pass us, it now looked like they were chasing
the mad man that was shouting "Maaaaaad man!"
On the heels of the Fulani palm readers was another mad man,
brandishing a UTC cutlass . Not Machete. Cutlass. The type used in felling
trees. That type that reminded one of Prince Nico Nbaga's bell bottom trousers
back then. He was swinging the weapon of death as he pursued... It became
obvious to us from where we were crouched that the madman had no one in mind as
a target. He was after anyone he could lay his eyes on. Because, soon as the
Fulani men, vanished at the end of the Block, he gave up on that chase and
followed one Man selling Festac 77 sleeveless Adire. Mr Adire seller was
actually laughing at the way the Fulani men took to their heels. So, this time
I had to laugh when I saw how the amusement on his face changed into fright. He
took off and jumped across the gutter by Palmy Bus stop. He continued running
even after the machete carrying mad man hand found new targets.
Sorry I digressed. Hope you are still with me.
My Dad later told me a proverb in URHOBO, "AVUE ODIERO,
NE EKI VHENRHEE!" Which means you do not need to tell a deaf man that
there is chaos and uncontrollable commotion in the market. He can see. That's
all he needs.
Back to Stella DAMASUs' write up. We are not all perfect.
That said, when a Musician writes a love song, do you stop listening to the
love song or letting the lyrics connect to your relationship because the singer
has divorced 8 times or has not been able to hold a relationship longer than 3
months? I don't think so. I think STELLA did well. If you like go call police.
Back to the HASHTAG I talked about earlier,
#WhatMadeYourGuyLeaveYou. Many ladies missed the point as they always often do.
They were talking about how men are polygamous in nature, Cheats,
irresponsible, not ready for commitment, gigolos, lack ambition, lack self
control, think with their third legs... BLA BLA BLA.
I need to mention at this time, that I was at that time
preparing to talk to young ladies who were looking to settle down and finding
the right guy. And to tell you the truth, a lot of the ladies missed the whole
point by a mile or 2. They need to read STELLA DAMASUS' piece.
It's easy for a lady to say, a guy was not serious that's
why the relationship broke up. Or to say, he used her and dumped her for
another lady. Fine. That is what they think made the guy leave. But to be
honest, was that all there was to it?
I would like you to know that, that is not entirely the
truth. A guy would always weigh his options. He would want to know if he is
getting the best. Or if he can see the best coming soon.
ABEG OOO
Before a lot of ladies eat me raw, let me explain. I do
agree that it's a two way street, but I can only speak for the WAY I HAVE BEEN
ON. I AM AS STRAIGHT AS THEY COME. I KNOW AND HAVE KNOWN ONLY WOMEN.
Have you as a babe listed some CORE 10 things that you think
you have that will make a guy not want to leave you? Do you also have some
other unique things that a guy will not get anywhere else? Ok, lets agree he
likes your breast, your bum bum and your soft body. What has any of those got
to do with respect, the tone with which you talk to him, showing you are happy
to be the one he chose, supporting his dreams... Does he like blowjobs? Do you
give him same? Does he like talking? Do you listen? Some girls are funny, they
will admit to knowing that the other girl beats them in several departments,
yet still say, they don't know why he moved on to her. Really???
I know I have stepped on that last nerve you have been
tolerating me with. OYA delete me. I even need space to add people who tolerate
and think like I do.
I rest my case.
- Ali Baba
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